time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
