I accidentally had phone sex last night
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
