I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
