happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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