there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
