We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
