Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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