And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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