Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize