Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think im going to throw up on grandma
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
