I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
