I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
