I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
