belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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