I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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