so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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