I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
