when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize