Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
