He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
