Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
The ass gains better be worth it
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