Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
