I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it was like eating out sand paper
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
