Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
