Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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