i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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