Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
