Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
