Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Buhtt sex?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
