This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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