the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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