does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
