I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
His nipple licking is glorious
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