I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
