i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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