yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
