My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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