Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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