Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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