Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize