if only i could text you this smell
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
