Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
one two three fourrrrnication!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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