do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
