he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
