Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
