found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
