Me. At least after what I've been through.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
