Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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