somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
