I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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