Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
