I never want to see another naked old woman again.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
