I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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