drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
