this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
