Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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