is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
