If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
