Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
