Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
