I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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