She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
