i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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