I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
